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Tona’s battle began with a single online video at age 14. Curiosity grew into a habit, and the habit became a silent prison. By 19, the shame, confusion, and loneliness had overwhelmed him so deeply that he experienced one of the darkest moments of his life which led him to attempt the first suicide. He felt completely hopeless - convinced he had ruined his future before it even began.
The habit slowly robbed him of interest in real relationships. He avoided dating because he felt he could satisfy his sexual urge himself and therefore emotionally disconnected to any lady. When friends were finding love, he was fighting a hidden cycle he didn’t understand.
Years later, he married a woman he adored. Tona carried his secret struggle into marriage, hoping it would disappear. Instead, it grew worse. While his wife longed for closeness and connection, he found himself withdrawing, unable to be fully present. The habit he hid in the shadows drained his interest in intimacy, leaving his wife confused and deeply hurt.
Arguments began. Questions came. Pressure mounted. And inside, Tona felt like he was failing as a husband. Six months into his marriage, overwhelmed by shame, conflict, and the feeling that he could never change, he reached a severe emotional breaking point. His wife found him lifeless on the floor after he had poisoned himself and immediately called for emergency help.
At the hospital, after hours of treatment and silence, he finally whispered the truth - that he had been emotionally drowning for years to one of his friends who came around. When his friend arrived, concerned and full of questions, Tona broke down in tears and explained everything: the years of hiding, the shame, the fear, the pressure in marriage, and how tired he was of living double-minded.
When asked why he resulted to suicide, Tona said, “I felt trapped, ashamed, and convinced I could never change. I thought I was disappointing everyone, my wife, myself, and even God. The guilt was louder than my hope, and I didn’t know how to ask for help. That’s what pushed me.”

Are You Like Tona?
Are you experiencing what Tona experienced or even worse?

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